I haven’t posted anything on here for a while. Time has gone by and I’ve been in a few different relationships that didn’t quite work out for various reasons but now I think I’m ready for a new chapter so I’ve gone back on the dating sites and began the process to see if I can find the right woman for me.
The previous relationships have taught me a lot about what is and what isn’t important and what my heart truly desires but I am open to learn. The most important things to me aren’t what someone looks like, it’s how they make me feel. How receptive their hearts are for finding something more meaningful than just sex because what I crave is not just someone who to share carnal knowledge with, it’s someone who I can talk to. Someone whose interested in my many travel stories. Someone who doesn’t mind a few dad jokes. Someone capable of a meaningful conversation.
I’m finding that there are lots of people that say they want these things but at the same time, they’re not willing to put the effort in themselves. It’s like they’re waiting to be entertained rather than genuinely engaging in a conversation. If you put little effort in, you can expect to get little back.
I need a woman with humility and genuine desire to take the time that’s needed to build up a bond. Not someone that’s just in it for what they can get from me, but someone’s whose heart is looking to give, looking to nurture, looking to connect, allow my masculinity to bring out her feminine side.
It’s hard work and I know it’s not easy for women either. I know a lot of people are tired and jaded with the dating sites. They’re fed up of scammers, fed up of people promising them the world then disappearing into thin air or guys whose sole interest is in getting into her pants as soon as possible, asking for lewd images.
I like to think I have a lot more to offer than that, but the design of these apps is not human connection, it’s just a series of images and a few check boxes of things that have absolutely no bearing on whether a relationship can be mutually beneficial and meaningful. Sure, it’s nice to see what peoples hobbies are to know if you’ve got any common ground to start from, but I haven’t seen a single profile that doesn’t say a person is ambitious.
What I want to know isn’t on a dating app. I want to know how you treat other people. Are you kind? are you engaging? are you humble? are you warm? Can I make you feel something? Do you actually have the time to invest in a relationship and what are you willing to do to earn my affection and vice versa.
I crave having someone to cherish, someone who will send me a message in the morning to let me know they’re thinking of me, someone I can make feel special, whether with kind words, emotional support, a loving touch or act of service. I have a big heart and yearn to love just as much as to be loved, and I want someone that is willing to do the same.
I know I’m a hard sell. The cover on this book is a little shabby. I’m a big guy, and I’m working on that. I’ve lost a lot of weight already and in a years time I know I’ll look like a different purpose. I’ve already gone down three shirt sizes and I’m doing the work in the gym, I’m doing my steps, I’m eating healthily and improving my sleep and water consumption. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I still think I’m worthy of love right now.
I’ve got a lot of good qualities. I’m intelligent, I’m articulate, I’m creative, I’m thoughtful, I’m kind. I’m determined. I can be funny. I can surprise you and I know the right woman will be getting a partner that is loving, affectionate and knows how to make her feel good. Emotionally, physically, sexually. Unfortunately, swiping through random strangers faces on an app doesn’t tell that story though and I understand, physical attraction is important. I have preferences too and I don’t want someone that sees me as a second choice. I’m worth more than that.
I need to be creative to find love, that’s why I built this website. I have been loved before and despite the fact that it feels like I’m wading through treacle trying to connect with the right kind of woman, I believe it will happen. It’s happened before and it will be again.
It’s not that I’m just idly sitting by hoping. I’m working on myself. I’m gaining more confidence all the time. I am proud of the home I have created. I have plenty of friends, an active, busy in fact, social life with running a men’s support group, which is good for my soul and humility, with playing football, which is good for my body and with pub quizzes, which are good for keeping my mind sharp. I have a good career. I’m mentally resilient. I have travel adventures, visiting different countries and cultures. I don’t want a woman because I need her to fill some sort of hole inside my, I want a woman because I want to share my life with her, be their for her and make her heart sing when she thinks of me.
If this resonates with you, if you are also a woman that is curious about the world, willing to trust, open, humble and loving, please get in touch and maybe we can find a way off these dating sites together. The odds are slim, but I’ve been defying odds all my life and I don’t intend to stop now!